Ahh, unisex names. Some families can’t live without a healthy dose of gender-ambiguous names sprinkled throughout their children, while others leave their favorites in the dust if another gender comes along and decides to take a piece. Wherever your family may stand on the issue, or rather, practice, of using one name for multiple genders, the thought behind unisex names plays into a lot of issues that span past just the names we choose for our children, making it an especially touchy topic. So, what better than to explore both sides of the story and emerge with a little tidbit of my opinion as well? Where do unisex names fade into just one gender using another gender’s name? And are there any benefits to using a unisex name? Today, I’m diving in to the controversy behind unisex names. Let’s begin with the perks of choosing a name that will pass for either gender.
Pros
Parents give their children names like Hayden and Charlie for a variety of reasons, although it definitely differs from person to person. One of these reasons is to give their child freedom of gender expression. By passing by names that are typically seen as one gender or another, some parents want to embrace the child's future gender expression. By choosing a name that doesn’t clearly emulate one gender over the other, perhaps parents intend to allow their children to grow up without gender bias aiding their decisions. On that tangent, some parents who choose unisex names want to make an anti-sexist statement or allude to a certain way of raising their little ones. Obviously, these intentions are powerful ones that top style and trends, but the trend factor also helps to push unisex names up the charts.
Names like Emerson and Rowan swarm baby naming forums and parents love the modern style of them. Although the idea of using one name for multiple genders is no new practice, the idea hasn’t ever been quite as stylish as it is now. While Jamie and Casey might’ve thrived in a classroom of the past, Riley and Quinn now dominate, and more and more parents are interested in choosing a name that may spread across genders. And besides the stylistic and lifestyle choices that may motivate parents to choose a unisex name, there’s also a simplicity that comes with choosing a unisex name, especially if you’re Team Green, or haven’t found out the gender of your baby. By deciding on, say, Elliot, regardless of your child’s gender, you only have to do half of the work of naming a child. Well, more like ¾, unless you also plan on using an ambiguous middle name, which I would personally avoid in the case that your child wants a more gendered fallback if they find it annoying to be mistaken for the opposite gender.
Cons
Truly gender-neutral options have their own issues, but one of the main difficulties with the unisex name trend is that it mostly supports more masculine names on girls and condemns the opposite for little boys. Parents seem to think that a daughter called the frilly and sweet Evangeline will be looked down upon while the more boyish and surname style Easton will be successful. Strength and courage are traits attached to masculinity, while weakness and fragility is more attached to femininity, so names that emanate masculinity are more well liked for girls rather than feminine names are for boys. Given that soon-to-be parents of little girls want names packed with strength, they want to avoid frilly and feminine names and go for more traditionally masculine names, which is unfortunate for both little girls and boys. The pool of boy names grows smaller and smaller as parents of boys are warned to stay away from these now “girly” and therefore “bad” names, making many of the names considered “unisex” today truly boy names slowly inching over to girls as more and more parents decide that a “girlish” name for a boy is going to get him mocked, and being caught in the middle of the transition.
So let’s say a large portion of unisex names are truly appropriate for both boys and girls. Well, as I said before, those too have some problems attached. Let’s say your little daughter, Kai, marches into basketball camp eager to begin, and the coach begins to split the kids into teams by gender. “Ok, on the boys team we have Zayn, Oliver, Kade, and Kai.” Then watch your daughter flush and try to explain that she is, in fact, Kai, and a girl. Or have your son answer to Emery and watch as he rolls his eyes in the doctor’s office when the nurse calls for “Little miss Emery!” for the umpteenth time. Although some kids may care more than others, it can be frustrating for children when people assume that they are the opposite gender based on their gender neutral name that may lean one way or another. People base their assumptions on personal experience, so if Kai’s coach has a nephew called Kai or if Emery’s nurse has another patient called Emery who’s a little girl, then they will likely guess that their own personal association to the name is correct and that the child is either one gender or another. And if your child being confused for the other gender aggravates you, then it may be unwise to put that power in someone else’s hands.
The Final Verdict:
You cannot imagine how conflicted I am about this topic. I personally find that the potential issues that may follow choosing a unisex name wouldn’t be right for me, in addition to the fact that I would love to pick out more than one name and I’m not a fan of a more modern style typically, so part of the positives doesn’t appeal to me, turning the tides in a non-unisex direction. I doubt that I would choose a unisex name for my own child, but I completely see the appeal in doing so for other families.
Sincerely,
~Delphina Moon
Do you like unisex names? Let me know down below along with other topics you might like to hear my Opinions On!
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