While most of us go by the names assigned to us at birth, there are a few select people who have been called by their middle names their whole lives. When I was looking through my Celebaby posts for the award ceremony for 2020, I rediscovered the lovely name (which actually won best combo) Arwen Lucinda Jane, who is called Lucky, a short form of Lucinda. Curious about what would motivate a parent to call their child by their middle name, I did some research into it, and decided after a while to delve into the pros and cons of such a choice. Today, we’re looking at whether or not calling your child by their middle name has any benefits to outweigh the negatives, and I’ll be sharing my take on the matter at the end. Let’s get to it!
Pros
So you’ve just married into this lovely family. There’s your significant other’s grandfather, James Samuel III, his father, James Samuel IV, and of course, him, James Samuel V. And now you’re expecting a son, who everyone is expecting to be James Samuel VI, another James like his great-great-great grandfather and company. But if you think that calling “James!” at a family reunion will turn far too many heads, why not Samuel or Sam? If you’re stuck with naming a child after an abundance of relatives, which you should never feel pressured to do, so let’s say you feel like you want to fulfill the tradition, calling your son by his middle name can give him a name and identity of his own, and not gather an avalanche of relatives when you call your husband or son’s name. Getting to pass on family names is very important to some people, and one way to give the child a name of his own if dad is Jamie and grandpa is James, then using a middle name as if it’s a first name is a perfect compromise that makes one parents feel like their legacy is getting passed on while the other feels like they got the opportunity to allow their son to be one-of-a-kind.
If your daughter comes home one day upset that her daycare teacher calls her “Stephanie Double-U,” and you find the name cumbersome, or Ella L. just doesn’t flow too well, try suggesting she turn to her middle name, Kate, to be the only one in class. If you have a last initial that’s clunky or another kid with the same name also has the same last initial, calling your child by their middle name in certain social circles can make it much easier and simpler for both the teacher and the child to distinguish children on forms or when calling out a name in class.
Not only that, it’s possible that you feel name regret once your child arrives. If your baby has already been given the name Sage Colleen, but you feel as if her more serious personality doesn’t quite match the spunkiness of Sage, the use of the name Colleen instead can be an excellent help in making you feel confident in her personality in comparison to her name. Perhaps the fierce Elf warrior character of Arwen didn’t quite match up with the tiny baby Caterina Scorscone was holding, and the name Lucky was much cutsier and sweet, perfect for a little girl.
And say you’ve picked out the lovely little name of Novalyn Eleanor for your baby girl, a beautiful balance of on trend and classic and historical names. If Novalyn grows into a very professional field, such as law, she may long for or desire a more common and traditional name than her very unique moniker. In that case, using Eleanor gives her that built-in backup, and it can make her feel more confident when signing forms and making business cards. Calling your child by their middle name or allowing them to when they’re older can make their name more tailored to their personality or field of work, so why wouldn’t you? Finally, let’s say you’re enamored with the baby name Emma for your daughter, and your significant other likes Belle. Emma Belle obviously sounds much better than Belle Emma, even if you mutually agree that Belle is a wonderful name for your child. Some name combinations sound significantly better than others, particularly with our love of one syllable, not ending in -a middle names. Lane Emersyn or Emersyn Lane? Paige Jonna or Jonna Paige? So if a combination that flows well matters a lot to you, but you can’t help but love a name typically reserved for the middle, calling your child by their middle name would be a lovely option for you.
Cons
Even if you do have one of the above good reasons to call your child by their middle name, you’re sure to get the wrinkled nose and “Well why didn’t you just call him what you call him?” And in a certain respect, that’s a valid remark. Calling a child by a name that most other children don’t answer to is needlessly complicated, and might confuse both the child as they grow and the people around them. If you like the name Samuel, it couldn’t hurt to just slap Samuel on the birth certificate and forgo the family tradition, or even swap it around for Samuel James. Stephanie can get called Stevie at school instead of the wildly different Kate. A baby likely doesn’t have enough of a fully formed personality yet to see what sort of name, spunky Sage or collected Colleen, will suit her best in years to come. Novalyn can make the name feel professional without having to change it completely, and a nice name combo is second priority to the one and only name you’ll use for life (likely). There are a lot of solutions outside of looking to the middle, and ones that will be easier on the child bearing the name in question and the childcare workers, doctors, and other members in their lives. This is because of how rosters, medical records, and birth certificates phrase your child’s name. Doctors, teachers, and coaches all default to first names because of what they see on the registration list or form, and unless a child corrects them, they’ll be called a very different thing at home and at school or basketball. To spend a lifetime correcting and explaining a name is draining for someone, and for Stephanie Kate to tell every substitute that there is no Stephanie in this class and that she goes by Kate instead will likely annoy her, especially when the sub looks on with confusion.
And if you only call Stephanie “Kate” while she’s at school, she must be terribly confused. Stephanie does the dishes, but Kate turns in her homework. When the teacher calls on the other Stephanie, Kate still perks up, and when you call for Stephanie, she’s unresponsive, at first only registering herself as Kate. When the child is torn between too drastically different names, there’s ought to be major confusion involved. We attach our names so closely to our identities, as a name refers to a person and their collective interests, personality, actions, and the like. So to have one name and identity, Kate, switch off at 3 and for Stephanie to have to step in, there’s got to be a blending and hesitancy between the two names. At one point, Stephanie Kate will switch schools, or leave home, and have to decide between two names, leaving another behind that she likely attaches quite a bit of her personality and identity to. Either way, splitting between two names or just going by a middle name in general is guaranteed to cause some confusion.
The Final Verdict:
I think that going by a middle name is an excellent option for many people. It does bring confusion to forms and everyday life, but it’s also a good way to maneuver and cater to your child’s personality once they’re born and avoid having strange and clunky initials differentiate your child, although I suggest testing out the last initial with your child’s first name, no matter how rare you think it might be. I would avoid doing this myself, but I think I’m going to have to side in favor of using a middle name as a first name, contrary to my personal beliefs before I did more research looking into this topic. I hope you enjoyed this article, and have an excellent day!
Sincerely,
~Delphina Moon
Do you agree with my final verdict? Let me know down below!