When a parent gives a child one or more names that directly or more subtly tie in to the name or personality of a relative or friend, it’s called an honor name. Essentially, it’s a wide and diverse spectrum, going from directly passing on the full name of a loved one to your child or using their birth month or favorite flower as a middle name, from obvious and blatant reuse to the slightest hint. Lately, there’s been a lot of hype around choosing honor names again, the practice becoming a trend after people start abandoning the Jr. and opting for more creative solutions to honoring someone you love while still giving your baby a distinct name and identity. But is the fact that the practice is trending making the actual honor less significant? Or are people freely making the decision to commemorate special people in their lives without pressure? Today, I’m arguing the pros and cons of choosing an honor name for your child, with my opinions at the end.
Pros
Becoming an aunt, godmother, grandpa, or uncle is a surreal enough experience, and chances are, your loved ones will absolutely dote on your little one if they live nearby. By honoring Grandad Charles with the name of his granddaughter, Charlotte, the elation of your special person will be even more so. When you honor people with something so monumental as your child’s name, they likely feel very appreciated and, well, honored! Because you’re bestowing a name that ties into their name or personality somehow, you show that person that you enjoy them and their positive attributes so much that you want your child to have them too. Not only that, a name may sound appealing, but it may also lack the personal meaning that takes a name to the next level. Emmalyn for Auntie Emma or Dashiell for Grandma Danielle feels not only personal but also dripping with meaning that’s sure to tear up some grateful friends and family.
And it doesn’t have to be a giant show of passing on a father’s name or adopting your friend’s name as your child’s. There are plenty of different ways to subtly integrate your loved ones into your baby’s name, such as by using their birthday or initials. Although slight, it is possible for Felicity Luna to honor Eden Miranda. How, you may ask? They both mean “happy moon.” And if your mom was born in July, there’s no reason that July shouldn’t become a stunning middle name, or Ruby fit in the first, as it is the birthstone of that month. As long as the sentiment is there, the name can be an honor, it just may not appear as obvious to the public as calling your child Mark for Marcus or Kaitlyn for Kate. Honors in every form are a semblance of passing the torch to the next generation, carrying the personalities and hopes of those before them, especially in instances of Jrs or IVs, who are the product of an age-old tradition. Because the choice to honor someone can have such a positive impact on both the honored, the honoree, and the child, the perks seem to suggest that it’s a wise decision to make.
Cons
One of the main complaints backing a counterargument to honor names is the lack of creativity they suggest, particularly when passing down a name directly in the form of a Jr. Great grandpa, grandpa, father, and son all answering to Benjamin sort of lacks in individuality. Each of them are part of a larger complex of men with the same name and family, and although some would enjoy being part of a big tradition, it’s likely that the bland nature of naming so many men the exact same name won’t sit well with some people. Because trends today are so reliant on individuality and uniqueness, honor names seem to strip a child of it and put on their shoulders the expectation of the people that have their same name. And not only that, often the individual you’re naming your child after finds their name dated and boring compared to other more modern names of their time that may be on their lists. Grandpa Randall likely would prefer Amanda, a popular name that he liked at the time of his child-naming debut, over Randelle for his upcoming granddaughter, despite the latter honoring him. If the person you’re wanting to honor has strong opinions against their name, don’t make them watch as you bestow the moniker they think is hideous upon your little one. They would probably prefer a name that was your favorite, not their own, especially if they are insistent that their name isn’t a good one.
This isn’t an exceptionally pleasant thought, but it is one to consider. If the person or people you’ve named your baby after disappear from your life, whether they commit a serious offense or just fade from your social circle, your child still bears a permanent reminder of them embedded in their name. If you aren’t confident in the longevity of your relationship with that person, or doubt if you’ll still be in close contact with them in 10 years, it may not be the best decision to show your gratitude with your child’s name. A blanket or some cookies may be a bit more manageable thank you gifts if you can’t whole heartedly see yourself or your child having a solid relationship with them well into the future. Because if the only reason you’re motivated to give your child a name that honors someone else is to satisfy them or people on baby naming forums, maybe an honor name is not the best investment for you. If you feel pressured to hand down a name by the potential honorees, then the honor isn’t genuine. Even worse, pressure to appear selfless on forums or pass down a relative’s name within your family tears you away from names that you actually love and would choose, which may result in name regret.
As always, I was shocked by how little content I could come up with to justify the side I had started out with a slight bias towards and how much I could stir up on the counterargument, and I have to say, my opinion has shifted slightly. Yes, use honor names! They are fantastic in many cases, and can make a child feel a sense of belonging. But that said, only use honor names when they’re actually honoring. If you’re using an “honor” name to satisfy someone else, then the honor isn’t actually much of an honor or privilege at all, watering down the actual significance to you and the honoree and likely resulting in regret.
Sincerely,
~Delphina Moon
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