Delphina Moon, while beautifully celestial and unique, is not my real name. Not even close. My real name is quite popular. It’s the family favorite, the #1 baby name for several years, #3 the year I made my way into the world, the three-other-girls-in-my-class-of-20 have it sort of name. It’s the kind of name that one so infatuated with names would often be infuriated by. I, to this day, detest the constant confusion and mix-ups, the whole last initial deal, and the fact that even trying to go by my first and middle name when I was 11 and going to a whole new theater company resulted in another girl answering to that exact. Same. Combination. I was horrified, to say the least, that my hope to differentiate myself had gone terribly wrong. Don’t get me started on the fact that I happened to become good friends with a girl with my same name and the abundance of jokes and “twins'' references we got. It made me feel… unoriginal. On top of just the general annoyance of being “the brown haired ___” or other attempts at differentiate two people with the same name. And it doesn’t help that my name is utterly unnicknameable, even when attempting creativity with my initials, blending my first and middle name, and rearranging the very short name to create ridiculous combinations in an attempt to have a distinguishing factor between me and the other girls with my name. For someone who loves names as much as I do, being given such a common one is slightly aggravating. Ok, fine. Very aggravating.
“So why stick it out? You know you can, like, legally change your name, right?” Yes, I do know I could one day if I wished. And for the amount of complaining I just did about it, you’d think I would pounce on the idea. But I’m always talking about thinking of names as gifts and premonitions you bestow on a child, and I view mine the same way. My name was one that my parents found beautiful and classic and wonderful, and they specifically wanted a name that was very common and without any nicknames. One of my parents has an unnicknameable name as well, and that was something that they loved growing up, while one of them has a very uncommon name that they loathe for the many misspellings and pronunciation hiccups. My Beatrice or Imogen or Dexter one day may hate how some people called them Bea or Ginny or Dex when they despise those names, and long for a name that will always stay consistent. And you know what? I would be heartbroken, because I reflected my experiences with my name on the qualifications for those of my children.
Point being, every different aspect of a name leaves you with a certain experience that dictates how we pass on names to our children. Ashley hates how popular her name was, but she adored how it was never misspelled like her sister Jessikah’s, so she might choose a name with those qualities. Most of us only get one name for our entire lives, one experience that will determine our requirements for our children’s names. I have had the experience of a very common, unnicknameable name that has been unpleasant for me. Therefore, I like relatively uncommon names with nicknames. One of my parents has had an experience with an unnicknameable, uncommon name that very much bothered them, so when it came time to name me, criteria that opposed that unpleasant affair were applied. Since my parents combined their naming experiences to fit a set of criteria that their lives with their own names generated, the popularity of my name and lack of nicknames is actually to prevent me from being forced to endure many different names or constant misspelling of my name.
I often take the advantage of having an easily recognizable name for granted because I’ve never had to undergo life with a complicatedly spelled name. But that was something that one of my parents did come across across the span of their life, and I’m happy to be able to take that naming knowledge and the privilege of having a simply spelled name with me when I name my children. So although I may not be thrilled with the popularity of my name, or the lack of nicknames, and have even looked down upon it with disdain sometimes, I am happy with the amount of effort and the care that went into choosing a name for me that alleviated the negative aspects my parents had discovered with their own names, even if they presented new challenges. The truth is, the grass is always greener on the other side, and names are one of those things that don’t have a black and white guide to good and bad. There are issues with common names, and issues with uncommon ones. There are issues with nicknames, and there are issues with no nicknames. Although I could probably find a name that fits my personality better now that I’m not a newborn, I could never find a name that lacks problematic potential.
My name isn’t one with horrid connotations like Hitler or a billion different punctuation marks like J’e’n’n’i’f’e’r. It’s a name that’s adored by so many families, and it’s a name that is gloriously classic and close to the hearts of many. And it’s a name thought up by people who, at the time, had much more personal knowledge of what makes an ideal baby name. For me, there’s no reason to change it.
Sincerely,
-Delphina Moon